me ?

sometimes i wish i was different. not weird different; but cool different i guess? idk, to me my life seems super boring. some say "Oh, Ena you have a great life...wish i were in your place." &nd i say "Nah, you don't." i mean i don't have a cool story to share with everyone; well i sorta do but its not all that great i don't think maybe i think to little of myself? constantly putting myself down, I'm not sure. never been the cocky type of female. never thought super highly of myself; but the people i love seem to constantly put me on a high pedal stool. like Keanan for instance; i just asked him if he though i thought "little" of myself. his immediate response was "WHAT!?" like he's appalled by what i asked. he said he personally doesn't think i do, but i sometimes seem like i do. I love him a lot, its really crazy how a person can make you feel. When i ask him about my flaws; he disregards them and gladly elaborates on all the things he loves about me. I'm not exactly sure why i sometimes feel the way i do at times; i don't put myself down i just doubt myself a lot at times why? I'm not exactly sure why i do to be honest. but then again when i think about it some of those people who are cocky and think too highly of themselves aren't happy with themselves deep down inside; so they rely on the falseness of making them something they aren't. life is a crazy game we all have to play at times; some play the game set on easy; some play with it like fire; dangerously; not giving a damn. (that made no sense) smh, why'd i type it? sounded right at the time i assume. blogging is great could do it forever. it sorda kinda helps me clear my mind; isn't that what its for? i believe so. sometimes i hate my blog; lmao crazy right? cause it isnt all jazzy & kewl like everyone elses sometimes i wish i had one of those blogs where i blog about media,fashion, and celebrities. BUT then again when i think about that shit im like...."Why the fuck would i want to constantly talk about other mofo's lives." smh, idk?..someone may read this and be like "why the fuck she blog bout this boring shit?!" i could care less to tell the truth; .....with that said. "Fuck you'r life."